So Depressed

I feel so depressed and unmotivated this morning. Hardly anyone accepts me in this world and its a crappy feeling. I would say the vast majority of women don’t even give me a second glance. I try to make friends and every one of them I lose, despite putting in effort. I cannot get a job despite being through countless interviews. I am getting sick and tired of putting effort in with absolutely no results.

I am not sure why, despite the fact I am trying, I cannot make proper friends or develop a relationship with a woman. I have never even been out on a proper date, have never held a girls hand, and have never kissed a girl.

I am getting extremely depressed and unmotivated.

I am even no longer excited when playing chess, it just feels like I am going through the motions at this point.

Me too.

I’m at the end of my education but can hardly take it anymore. At 18-20 I used to be able to do an entire research paper in one night, and do it well. I used to be able to focus on working for 6-8 hours at a time. Now at 26 I can barely digest small amounts of work; I get distracted every half hour and just lack motivation overall. I half-ass work and usually still do alright or even great, but it’s such a demotivating experience overall. I feel an increasingly rebellious spirit taking me over, as if my time as a teenager was delayed up until this point.

Most days that I am not required to leave the house for school, I stay in front of my computer all day hardly doing anything at all. Sometimes I play a game, but a lot of the time I am just staring into space wishing I could die or reminiscing about the distant past. All those “A” grades I got throughout all these years, and what has it done for me? Nothing, nothing at all.

I know the feeing dude, I sympathize with you as it’s difficult to deal with at times. Have you thought of exercising to increase your motivation? I have tried that and it generally works.

I don’t identify as incel and am a simple virgin, but I am getting tired of not getting any decent hits on dating apps. That’s one of the catalysts of a lowering motivation, and generally I’m an optimistic person, but I just feel negative today.

Incel isn’t something you identify as. That’s mainstream propaganda. Incel is, by definition, not a choice.

I do get some exercise, more than I used to. I use a bike whenever I have to leave for short distances; to the bus station for school or to my local game store. Of course during the Winter, not so much.

I’d get off the dating apps. Unless you’re there to troll or be a dick, it’s a waste of time and it will only make you feel worse.

Oh I see, yeah I’m mainly here to give support and share my experiences being in the same boat. I do not at all sympathize with incels who advocate violence and never will.

That’s good, I’ve never personally rode a bike but it’s probably enjoyable.

As for the dating apps I have a strong hunch you’re right, but I keep getting attached to them hook, line, and sinker. I have not tried enough places irl to meet women, so I plan on experimenting with that, or simply becoming somewhat reclusive.

Have you tried looking for a chess club? I only recommend it if there are girls (that you are attracted to) in the club who play it.

There’s a chess club that meets at a certain place where I’m at, but it’s mostly a few guys and mostly very young kids. So it’s not really for me. I don’t know any other chess clubs around my area.

1 Like

Most places hosting strategy games are going to be sausage fests, speaking from experience. Females rarely show up, but for the rare times they do show up, it is with a boyfriend 90% of the time.

Depression is a very real thing, but it’s usually about more than any surface issue. Perhaps there is an underlying thing going on… Maybe related to self confidence, a feeling of lacking in goals or achievements, etc. Lacking in companionship or relationships is a by -product of this issue. Even if you were to find a relationship in this state, it likely wouldn’t last long or be very meaningful to you, it may very well not fill the void that you expect it would.

It’s a cliche saying that we should love ourselves before we are capable of loving another. But it’s actually true. In other terms, you cannot provide care for someone while you yourself are sick. and that’s what a relationship is. It’s care and a sharing of joy and memories. In your current state, it may be very difficult for you to truly care for someone in a healthy way, you need to experience it with yourself first.

It took me years to understand this concept. I only understood it when I started pushing myself to do things bigger than myself, and only then did I understand my worth. Best of luck to you

I can identify with the depression part. It’s hard finding motivation. Personally I do self care and yoga that helps a bit. Have you asked anyone to look over your resume? Are there any volunteer opportunities for a job that would be similar that way you can build your resume and get references, this is what I had to do because you need so much experience now to get a job